"It's got to be something that hurts," I said the other day. For me, giving up alcohol or chocolate, or even flopbook would not be too much of a challenge - those things have less hold on me than they do for others.
Tea though. That's a toughie. Like every Englishman, I was raised on tea, it's one of my favourite things - picked fresh from the slopes of Darjeeling and Assam, blended from exotic leaves such as Oolong, Lapsang Souchong and Keemun. Not to mention Peejeetips and Tet Li.
The problem is that there's no great alternative. Coffee's dastardly; it sucks you into its bitter cups and before you know it, you need it more than it needs you. Hot chocolate seems like too much of a sugary treat to replace the humble cuppa, and Horlicks or Ovaltine would send me to sleep... or back to the 1950s, I expect.
Nope, it's hot water for me while I abstain from camellia sinensis. It's not so bad, actually. It's quite good for the vocals anyway, is hot water. The thing I had forgotten is that where I live, hot water comes out of the kettle with a thin film of limescale floating on the top. I had a cup at church today while I was playing the piano. I was in the middle of thinking how the film reminded me of custard.
"How is the tea fast going?" asked my friend, Sarah.
"Oh it's going OK," I said, "I have been in a bit of a weird mood all week though."
"You're often in a weird mood," she quipped.
She's not wrong about that. In fact that's part of the reason why I haven't written anything for a few days. I was all set to write about J. Wellington Wimpy and Popeye last week - how they're sort of opposite pictures of strength and weakness and how I felt like I had to choose which I'd be. I couldn't write it though because it literally made me feel like a wimp. I was feeling a bit odd about that.
I was also thrown into a 'weird mood' by Carlos the Liberator who told me something that someone else really should have told me. I was confused and sad and disappointed all at once - which is tough to get over. I know what I have to do about that though.
No, not 'put the kettle on'...
It also had its high points, last week. My friends helped me celebrate my birthday with fajitas and prezzies and a board game, which was both funny and utterly wonderful. I know I sometimes get confused about how lonely I am, but it's times like that which remind me that I am most definitely not alone. It's a beautiful thing when you know that you're loved by people you love, even when you're in an odd kind of mood.
It's likely that I'll miss tea the most, this week. I'm scrum-mastering as of tomorrow, which is a geeky software-type way of saying I'll be running a team. I quite enjoy the people-side of my job, but I don't really understand what half of them do. I'm hoping that taking cakes into the first meeting will help.
It's just not the same though is it, washing down a doughnut with a mug of hot water?
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