NO NEWS

"Any news?" I asked my Mum. Daniel, my brother-in-law, has hit upon the very clever idea of texting everyone who needs to know, all at the same time so that there can be no question of who found out first. My Mum has been hovering by her phone.

"Nope, no news," she said, filling the teapot, "Not even from Jean." Jean texts her all the time - usually about trivia. The phone remains silent.

I don't know whether it was genuine interest, or whether I just lost the use of all my rational senses, but what happened next will go down in my notebook next to the words 'Should have known better'. The whole pregnancy thing is a minefield of difficulty for me for oh so many reasons and I often have to remind myself to step across it extremely carefully. It was with the sound of crunching, clicking sand and metal then, that I heard myself ask casually:

"So, um, how do you actually know when it starts?"

My Mum told me, and for some reason she told me in detail. I think at least twice I said, "Actually, I'm not sure I w..." but you know some things are like runaway trains. For a moment I considered sending her a text message, but I thought better of it.

"Aw," she said eventually, patting me gently, "It'll be different when it's your turn." She left me there, staring at my reflection in the kitchen window.