HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE SURVEY

More shenanigans. The developers have put up a Christmas tree and have decorated it with network cables, old floppy disks, a Nortel Networks router and some blank CDs they found in a cupboard.

Because nothing says Merry Christmas like a pile of old junk.

Meanwhile, the owners of the business park have sent out a clear contender for the least-well thought through questionnaire award. I lost the ability to take it seriously half-way through and started trying to be funny. That's never a good sign.

"How long have you worked [on the park]?"

(radio buttons)

Less than a year
1-3 years
3-5 years

Presumably, once you've been here for 5 years, you explode with interminable joy and your remains are scattered into the lake like the happy, rainbow-coloured droplets of the water fountain. I selected 3-5 years, mostly because it's true.

"What do you think about the quality of the space you work in?"

(radio buttons again)

Excellent
Good
Satisfactory
Poor

I didn't know how to answer that as I didn't quite know whether it meant my desk, my office, the business park or the Universe. I quite like all of those spaces so I chose 'Excellent'.

"What do you find beneficial and what do you find a challenge about your journey?"

(free text)

How do you answer two questions in one box?

"Crossing the road - beneficial because I'm now able to identify a variety of different makes of car horn; not beneficial because it's like playing Russian Roulette with local tradsemen."

"Do you have any thoughts on how your journey could be made easier?"

"Jet pack"

"Would you use a shuttle bus if it was available? Are there are any bus route stops you would suggest?"

"Yes"

See, I've got annoyed by this point so I've chosen to answer closed questions with yes or no, just to be difficult. I am so childish.

"Are you aware of any activities that take place on the park?"

(radio buttons)

Yes
No

I chose 'Yes'. I saw a duck attacking a swan the other day. No text box to write about that in the survey though.

"How do your visitors usually arrive at [the park]?"

"I don't have any visitors but I guess they'd arrive at the entrance like anybody else."

"What are your visitors' comments when they visit you at [the park]?"

"Hello."

"How would you describe the park in 4 words?"

"Place where I work"

"Would you like to give us any overall/other feed back?"

"The lake is brilliant. Don't get rid of the lake."

You know what I was saying yesterday about working out when to be a grown up and when it's OK to let go and be a bit more child-like?

I think I might still need some practice.

I might go hang a shining disc upon the highest ethernet connector.