THE MEDIOCRE CRICKETER

I stood by the pavilion watching the sky turn pink. I was on my own, padded up and waiting for the call to walk out to the wicket.

This was the annual cricket match.

It's funny how, wherever you go, the same people always turn up to these things. There's the HR director, just there to have a go and laugh about it. Then there's the group of middle-aged dads reliving their dreams of playing at Lords, and relishing the chance of knocking each other out. Then there's that one guy who turns up in his whites.

I was nervous. And the pads felt ridiculous. I'd strapped them tightly round my legs like greaves and they were slapping against me as I paced.

There was a shout from the pitch. The stumps clicked and the ball thudded into some gloves. The last man was out, and I was in.

-

"Nice batting," shouted the HR director as I walked back to the pavilion some minutes later. Englefield House was silhouetted and the sun had sunk gently behind it. My shadow was long. I unstrapped my gloves and wedged the bat under my arm, feeling for all the world like a proper cricketer.

Of course, I'm not. The juddering ball had struck the bat a few times and I'd sprinted between the wickets while everyone shouted. I missed it a few times too, and on the last ball, it swooshed past me, swung invisibly through my bat and obliterated the stumps.

I guess it was okay, batting. Out in the field, I was less successful. The ball kept slipping past me. I did catch it once though. I stood there watching it drop towards me, while surrounded with those predictable cries of catch it! Thankfully, it fell into my hands with a satisfying thump, and I held my nerve.

Would I go again? Probably. Playing is definitely better than scoring. A few years ago, I had the dubious task of updating the scoreboard. I couldn't reach the numbers and lost track of the overs, much to the ire of the man in his whites.

It is a ridiculous game when you stop and think about it. Hopefully though, I showed my colleagues that I'm more than just a mediocre technical writer. I'm a mediocre cricketer too.