OUTDOORS ME GETS RESTLESS

So another Sunday comes whimpering to a halt, and with it, the weekend.

I had an odd desire today to go out into the woods and chop firewood, or build a treehouse, or make a massive bonfire or something. It happens every now and again. When you work in an office all the time, the outdoors version of you gets restless. Then one day he has a little moment to himself when he roars at the sky declaring silence no longer.

I'm not exactly Bear Grylls, as you know. I'm neither strong nor level-headed in a survival situation. Sure, I scrambled down Arthur's Seat in Edinburgh the other week to avoid tumbling over a hundred foot cliff face, and yes, the adrenaline was pumping. But I was in a major city with full mobile phone signal. I wasn't exactly lost.

Not like that time in Wales, when I spent the night on a flooded mountain and had to be rescued. That was exhilarating, and, a long time ago.

No, the outdoors version of me is quiet a lot of the time. I'm a musician and a technical writer, an indoor dreamer mostly, who gets lost in Sainsbury's and struggles to survive in his own flat. By the way, the other day I ate a bacon sandwich in the bath. For reference, it was a terrible idea.

I'd quite like to connect up more with Outdoors Me though. I like the big sky and the headwind. I like the hazy mountains and the silent forest, not to mention the waterfalls, coursing rivers and tall pines of a real adventure. I like the idea of completely switching off the timid indoors me and letting myself go wild, taking a tent and a dinghy, a penkife and a billy can and a bivvy bag into the woods.

I like the idea of coming back with a massive beard, ripped clothes and a clutch of scratches, like the return of Grizzly Adams. I like the thought of limping home with a fire lit behind my eyes and a load of stories told from under the stars.

Still, work tomorrow eh. A place where the most exciting things that happen are usually personal dramas that are magnified to the size of world-changing disasters when really they're just trivialities in the grand scheme of things. Someone eats more than their fair share of cake. Another person puts a smiley in an email and whispers of unprofessionality ripple around the room.

Get a life, grumbles Outdoors Me from somewhere deep beneath my neatly pressed shirt.

I have to admit, he has a point.