Thursday, 11 May 2017

SALTED CARAMEL AND THE UNIVERSE

I was joking about the Nigerian Ambassador, obviously. In case you hadn't cottoned on.

Not about the tea though! Hoho no! No-one jokes about tea.

Today's variety from the sample pack was 'Salted Caramel'.

"Salted Caramel is a wonderful contradiction of sweet and salty which is rich and smooth," says the packet.

Urgh. Imagine someone had somehow melted a Werther's Original and poured it through an old sock. Then, like some cruel, malevolent prankster, they had gradually dripped the resultant slop into a vat of old tea-leaves, and had stuffed them into tea bags.

A contradiction indeed - smells like toffee, tastes like cats.

I have never eaten a cat. Just want to make that absolutely clear.

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I'm in a strange mood today. Though, actually, if I say that more often than 50% of the time, then it can't really be true, can it?

I think it's because I ate too many biscuits yesterday.

My friend Chris came round with some root beers, and I cracked open the shortbread. He talked; I listened. Then I talked and he listened. Then his wife phoned up and told him to go home because it was late and the kids were still up. I closed up the pack of shortbread crumbs and went to bed.

Do you reckon too much sugar can send you loopy? Of course it can. I spent lunchtime trying to calculate the balance between the odds of life emerging on a planet in a potential fourteen billion year-old universe, and it not happening at all, anywhere.

I was beginning a thought about whether it takes more faith to be an atheist than it does to believe in a Creator.

I'll continue that thought. But first methinks I need a cup of tea.

A cup of nice tea, that is of course. And probably no biscuits.

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