FACTS AND FIGURES

Then, looming out of the atmosphere in a way that might have been fully expected but was also still somehow a shock, came the R word.

"Redundancies may be necessary... efficient operating model... go-forward position... future collaboration... consultation period..."

Funny how words jump out, isn't it? The careful phrasing, the legally crafted tone, the critical balance between compassion and ruthlessness, the turning point where 'my door is always open' turns out to have been the platitude it always was. An almost audible sigh of resignation flooded the room as the email landed, followed by the sound of anxious keyboard tapping.

That's what that 'facts and figures' day was about in Borg HQ then - the raw numbers that float between columns on spreadsheets: jobs, salaries, lengths of service, and 'synergies'.

But there are more than just figures on a spreadsheet aren't there? Behind the one hundred and forty jobs here, are one hundred and forty figures. And behind them are thousands of other figures and facts: husbands, wives, children, families, homes, pensions, hopes, worries, marriages, futures - all affected in one way or the other while the R word ripples out of the fog.

I sat at my computer, thinking it through in the silence. What did I want? What would I choose for me? What will happen to my job, and am I okay with it, either way? There was no doubt at all that the storm was sharpening my mind.

I closed my eyes. Deep green waves, a tiny boat, white foam, deafening wind, and dark night. Rain-lashed wood, the drenched faces of fear, lit by the momentary bursts of lightning. Torn sails. Splintered mast. And there, nestled in the bow: a man, curled up, fast asleep, oblivious to the terror around him. One figure, one unassailable fact. He knew.

I smiled at my screen. I can be that peace, even if everything is about to change. I don't think I am at risk actually (nor any of my team so far), but it's not true to say I'm not affected - we're all affected; we're all figures in the drama. I just hope I can be the best I can be in the middle of the storm.