BAD HAIR DAY

"Hey Matt, we can't see you. What is it? Bad hair day?"

"Every day's a bad hair day isn't it?" said I, deflecting, while I scrabbled around for the 'video-on' button. About half a second elapsed before I realised to my horror, that six out of the other seven people on the chat I'd just joined... were actually bald.

"Oh my gosh!" I said, hiding my face in my hands. I couldn't look at the reactions on the screen, but thankfully Ian was busy turning it into a comedy moment about how bad hair days were now 'a thing of the past', at least for him.

"I am so sorry," I said, half-laughing, half-mortified. "I did not mean that!"

The unwritten convention is that if you launch, even accidentally, it gives permission for the other superpowers to launch back at you. It's a sort of Mutually Assured Destruction, only slightly less messy than thermonuclear. Nonetheless, I was still hovering over the video-on button, wondering whether I should show my face, and make myself a sitting target.

And that, I don't mind telling you, is how I discovered that I was wearing my jumper both inside-out and back-to-front today. Oh joy.