I think people are nice and kind on the whole. That’s my assumption, anyway. Sure, we do encounter the selfish and hurting ones sometimes - and yes, those encounters make us sting with tears. But I think even those people are just reacting on the surface to a world that’s not been fair to them. And beneath that layer, there’s usually a softer, gentler voice trying to whisper.
I wouldn’t blame you for thinking this is a naive point of view, or that I’ve been sheltered in my nice middle-class (and thoroughly Christian) bubble all my life. Fair point. But even if I’m wrong, isn’t it still a very sensible assumption to make? I mean, if you really want to make the world a better place, isn’t it better to have a platform of kindness, even with people who might shout at you and call you names?
I thought of this last night as I wrote a note to my neighbour. It had been raining, and I had absent-mindedly reversed into her car on my way out. It wasn’t serious; just a scuff mark I think, though it was hard to tell in the drizzly lamplight. Sammy (who is very pure about these things) reminded me that it’s ‘always better to be honest’, even if I could have driven off without my neighbour ever knowing. I also knew that if I’d chosen that silent ‘hit and run’ route, I would have been opening myself up to guilt and worry - and those things are far more expensive than the rear bumper of a 2005 mini.
And so (after knocking her door and her not responding) I wrote. And I did so, very carefully accepting that I was responsible and apologetic. I drew her a diagram of what had happened, I used larger letters than normal, and I tried to pour kindness into it as the pen flew across the plain A5 paper.
This all sounds like a humblebrag, but I’m just making a point really. And (gulp) I have dented cars in the past and just driven off - to my shame. And yes, guilt and worry did follow me down the road and both clung to my soul. Not this time though.
And sure, I might be wrong about people. Deep down, people might actually be self-centred, grasping, unimportant dullards - fodder to clamber over on my and everyone else's personal scrabble for happiness; I might be very foolish for my belief that every human is the opposite of those things - or that you, like me, are a beautiful soul with elegant potential, even if life has embittered and twisted us.
I might be. But let’s be honest, either way, clambering over people only ever pushes them further down, doesn’t it? Being rude only adds rudeness to the world. Much better to lift others up and treat them well; far kinder to stand up for what’s right and take responsibility when it’s not, and especially if it was your fault. I’m pretty sure that’s what Jesus teaches. Ha! Maybe that always was the Christian bubble.
Anyway, my neighbour hasn’t responded. She might still. She might phone me and rant down the phone. She might thrust an angry letter through my door. She might just be nice about it, she might be thoughtful and let me know it’s all alright, or even what I can do to make it right if it isn’t. I’d like to think so. I’d like to think that she is of course, a kind and gentle person, floating along in life, just like the rest of us, trying to make things better. But of course I would.
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