I NEED A LAKE

I feel as though there are way too many things in my head.

Was it all that quiz research? I mean, It’s fine and dandy knowing the dates of all the US Presidents and the names of Roman roads, but what use is it when you can’t remember whether you’ve paid your phone bill? I mean they don’t call it trivia for nothing.

It’s not just trivia though. My mind’s carrying worries about my job, my family, our house, our finances, changes in my character, health, weary hopes, my dreams, the future, how I feel about it all. I don’t even have time for the global stuff - it’s all chocked in behind these eyes, between these ears. And I do need time.

Precious time. If you were water, I’d need a lake, just to get my thoughts in line, bubbling up and releasing themselves to the sky.

Someone once said ‘writing is just thinking’ and I really liked it. But different people think differently, and writers organise thoughts with a reader in mind, so I’m not sure it’s strictly true. Also, my head is full of thoughts and writing doesn’t seem to be helping.

I really would like a lake though. I feel like I could sit by it for hours, watch the bubbles of fish under the surface, the wading birds, and look out for water otters. That is of course, if the rest of my life permitted it.