It’s complex hitching yourself up with another person. Your centre of gravity changes - like a binary star system, you’re now orbiting around a point that’s sort of between you, and no longer in you completely. So your decisions are still yours to take, but they also affect the life of another person, however small, however insignificantly.
Their decisions affect you too, as you both spin through space. And it’s a strange dance sometimes - the steps seem complicated - a Viennese waltz among the stars, full of unspoken technique and balance.
This is all a very poetic way of me saying I burnt the toast today.
It was several hours ago, but… well time… hasn’t really… helped. And I didn’t really realise how bad it was. Until I did. And then I really did.
Now, as a lone star, I think I’d have handled the smoky house differently. This is what I mean - my centre of gravity is off-centre now, and decisions I make as a person working from home are not decisions that necessarily map to our binary system. There’s new inertia, and unpredictable spin. And three and a bit years in, I am still learning the footwork. It became clear to me when Sammy got home.
I think an old bit of toast got stuck. A blackened bit of charcoal certainly fell out of the toaster, rather like an ember from a forgotten bonfire: the smoking culprit. Somehow that little chunk of bread had filled the house, the cosmos of our daily life, and it had created a sort of atmosphere, a haze of uncomfortable carbon floating in mid-air, somewhere between our two stars.
It’ll be alright. Worse things have happened. The key bit of learning is that consideration of gravity, of how we orbit, and what we orbit and why, and learning the pull of angular momentum that’s on both of us. Though, I’m not sure I’m going to explain it like that in person just yet. Maybe let the atmosphere clear a bit.
No comments:
Post a Comment