I’m limping into Christmas. That’s what it feels like anyway - a cross-country run in the cold woods that comes to a kind of bruised end in the December air.
I had a huge computer fail yesterday that’s led to me reinstalling Windows. I have no idea whether I’m doing it all correctly - it has filled me with terror. Diagnosing the problem, the IT guy kept messaging me things like, “Oh that’s not good…” and “Oh really not a good sign,” whenever I relayed the symptoms. I thought those people were trained not to say things like that! I still think it’s going to work out to have been all my fault.
Somehow it’s brought up a load of other stuff too. Last night I was feeling unbearably sad about my life. Where is it going? What have I done with it? What would happen if I were to get fired for letting my hard drive get corrupted? What in the world would I do next?
The long few days of Christmas can’t really come soon enough. Muscles ache, my face is red with tears, and the winter sky is heavy with rain. I need a break, a long, deep sleep in a cosy world of twinkly lights and hot baths.
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