I'm sure this happens in most offices. I worked in one, where they threw you a little party if you got given a laptop. In others, people have developed whole feuds and vendettas just because somebody looked at someone else 'a bit funny'. Somehow, throwing a whole load of strangers together and forcing them to get along puts all of their behaviour under the microscope and amplifies absolutely everything.
This heatwave will not help. I just went through the kitchen to find the Finance Guys taking table football too seriously again. This time though, they were sweating like four beetroots gathered round a table, shouting madly at a tiny plastic ball. I filled my water bottle and grabbed a couple of tea bags.
I'm not a massive fan of the heat. It seems to stop me thinking straight. I read somewhere that David Letterman used to keep his studio ice-cold so that he and his guests would be that little bit sharper and maybe even wittier. It's a good idea, that. There's something about the heat that slows us right down to a lazy, unintelligent slump.
And that's it, I guess. The heat's great for holidays - but sitting in an office, sweat beading across your brow and your clothes sticking to you - that's no-one's idea of fun. Even the sun-worshippers who sprawl white-limbed across the grass at lunchtime must despise going back to work in the hot and stuffy world of corporate finance or marketing or whatever it is those people do.
I think, to cope a little better, I'm going to start walking in earlier, before the morning sun pokes its head over the lake. I might get more done if I can concentrate in the quiet and in the cool of the day.
"Matt, why are you wearing a jumper?" asked someone as I navigated my way out of the kitchen with two tea bags and a re-filled Volvic bottle.
"Oh," I said, not really sure of the answer. It's a fair point - not wearing it will probably help a lot too.
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