I read somewhere that if you coat your nose in Vaseline, it traps pollen before you inhale it and prevents some of the symptoms of hay fever.
I can tell you with some degree of certainty... that it doesn't work. Oh it does help to prevent a pollen-powdered windpipe. However, what it generously replaces it with, is a slippery, shiny red hooter that would out-glint Rudolph - and critically, is still blocked... only this time, with Vaseline.
Oh I despise hay fever. The most annoying thing is that so far this year, I've actually been doing quite well with the old grass seed. In fact, really well. April and May went by relatively sneezy-free, and you know what, even June was doing alright until the last 24 hours kicked in.
"Have you got a cold, Matt?" asked Lindsay at the choir team meeting last night. My heart sank.
"Oh no," I said, calmly. "It's just grass trying to beat me up."
"Yeah, you do look a bit puffy," she laughed. Since then I've been sneezing in the middle of most of my sentences and clutching tissues in my fists as though they were security blankets. I look like a shiny-nosed, red-faced in-patient who's developed an obsession with a box of Kleenex and a packet of chamomile tea bags.
I really don't like hay fever.
No comments:
Post a Comment