THE SLEEPING SONG WRITER

Someone I've not seen in a while asked me for an old song I wrote a long time ago. There are so many forgotten things from my life that were so real and so powerful long ago. They seem a little faded now, as though I've kept them gathering dust in the loft.

I haven't written a song in a long time, yet deep within me, beyond the technical writing and the choir arranging and the pretending to write poetry, there is the core of a song writer who has somehow fallen asleep.

It all sounds the same, you see. There aren't many new ideas, there isn't much inspiration floating around. The process is hard labour in a world where time has been squeezed out of my life like toothpaste in a vice. The thoughts, the novel ways of thinking about things, the fascination with odd phrases or curious words are all still there somewhere, they just can't seem to find a way out.

It was nice to be reminded though. I will revisit that song and send it. Maybe as the tune and the lyrics ring my memory, something will remind me who I'm supposed to be. Perhaps that burning desire to be a song writer has a purpose that will lead me somewhere good again? Who can say?

Maybe there's a way that I can be

Lost again within the melody

Maybe there's a song that I can find

To leave the aching silences behind

You know I would do it all day and every day if I could. As it is, I can't. It turns out that sending firm but polite emails about Japanese translation of content that isn't quite right and that barely anyone will read... is the thing I've chosen. What a way to spiral.