FORGETTING HOW TO DRIVE

I think I've forgotten how to drive.

Well. What I mean is: the mechanics of it are all there, and I haven't forgotten which pedal does what, or what the road-signs mean, or how to change gear. What I mean is that I feel like I'm forgetting some of the things you're supposed to do.

Like roundabouts. I had to go to Winchester last night for a rehearsal for a carol thing. On the way home, I circled a particular roundabout three times, looking for the exit. Then, I came close to zooming down one of the on-ramps instead of nipping off at the exit. I've never done that before.

The other day too, on the way to work, I drove straight over a mini-roundabout and only checked my right while I was sailing over it. The jeep behind me, which had been pulling out and had had to stop, wheels on the paint, kept its distance.

I take the wrong lane, I don't think about where I'm going, I swerve late (sometimes) and I fail to concentrate.

Meanwhile, the work car park continues to be a game of angles, in which I stressfully find the ramps too narrow to swing into.

I wonder how the cars behind feel when I have to back-up, lower my wing mirrors, then gently angle my car round the concrete bumpers without scraping my tyres. And let's not mention the contortions required to actually get out without scraping the door of the car in the next parking bay.

Oh and then there are those early mornings when the likes of 'Dean' at the gym see me bleary-eyed as I tumble out of the driver's seat. He shouts things like: "Sort it out. That's terrible parking!" and I look back and see my car is sticking a foot into the road and a tyre is eclisping a white line.

Cheers 'Dean'.

Anyway, it's probably tiredness. It could be that my head is simply too full of things, squashy, flexy facts and worries that push the 'how to drive' section somewhere to the back, along with 'Cooking for beginners' and 'Particle physics'. Or of course, I could simply be losing my marbles.

But if that were true, surely I'd be constantly forgetting other things too, like house keys, coats, a left glove, and the fact that I've slipped my mobile phone to the bottom of my rucksack.

Surely not.