THE CONTEXT FOR SILLY

As cold as it was yesterday, this morning it was worse. The ground was icy, the night was dark, the wind was bitter, and the moon was a brilliant white disc in the twinkling sky. It was like walking through a picture of winter.

I don't actually mind it when I'm togged up. Somehow, layering on my waterproofs and hiking boots makes it seem like much more of an adventure. And of course, when it's icy, it is an adventure. I nearly tumbled a couple of times this morning.

I was reflecting on the concept (and the context) of silliness.

I've always been amused at my own reaction to it - sometimes I like it; other times I don't at all, and I wondered what made the difference. When is it appropriate to be silly? What's the right context for it? Or is it subjective - is one person's fun and freedom another person's 'silliness'?

I looked it up when I got to work. It turns out that the word's etymology sort of covers both ideas - originally coming from a Saxon word (salig) meaning 'happy' or 'blissful'. At some point (let's blame the Dark Ages shall we?) 'silly' seems to have evolved from meaning 'happy' to 'pious' (there's a connection there: 'blessed' means both of those things) and then from 'blessed' to 'innocent' (children are still more inclined to be silly in both senses) and finally, to 'pitiable' or even 'foolish'. It does seem to depend on who and how then, as I suspected, while walking through the cold morning. How interesting.

So. When do I like silliness? I think I've narrowed it down to any-occasion-where-I-don't-have-to-be-sensible. But even then, it has boundaries. And the need to be sensible is hard to suspend indefinitely - I can't race around the house with my three-year old nephew for long, without the return of the sensibles.

And when do I not like silliness? It's tougher to define, but I think it's whenever I don't think it's particularly appropriate - in other words, if there really is a need to be sensible! I can't do funny voices in a weekly team meeting any more than I can mess around while driving up the motorway. The trouble is, it's not always unambiguous.

And that's the point - recognising the difference is about maturity. As grown-ups we ebb and we flow with the context, realising the atmosphere we're in, and doing our best to be appropriate - whether that's silly or sensible. And yes, sometimes that does mean being silly, deliberately lapsing into the fun and the freedom that's so easily misunderstood! It can be tricky to see the context. Do we get it right all the time?

Yesterday I nosed the self-service till in Sainsbury's. Of course we don't.

The ice was slippier on the roads beneath the trees, so I carefully tried navigating between the dry bits while the cars swooshed by. I wondered whether I was afraid of falling over. I don't think a child would make much of that - seems the older we get, the more we convince ourselves that looking 'silly' is a thing to be feared, whether through failure, circumstance, or dressing up and joining the circus.

But perhaps it isn't. Not really. Perhaps it really can be fun and freedom - especially if we're usually overcome with the sensibles. It's a strange fear, really. It strikes me that we've made that up.