LIFT ECONOMICS

I spent quite a long time today, trying to work out the cost of a single trip in the elevator.

In fact, I screwed my face up so tight with calculation that my colleagues had to ask me if I was feeling alright. It would have been great if I could have said 'no' but it would also not have been true; so I told them - I said I was working out the cost of a trip in the lift. Sometimes my face gets me into trouble.

The reason for my curiosity about interior-vertical-transport-expenditure is this:

While I was away, they put up some laminated plaques in the lobby, to remind us all that we burn ‘seven times as many calories when we take the stairs’. It's not my place to question the science of that (though, admittedly, I am dubious) but nonetheless, it did occur to me that using the stairs is free, while taking the elevator is not.

"I'm not trying to be cynical about it," I explained carefully to Erica, "but it's interesting, don't you think?"

I still don't know for sure whether she thought it was.

Then, for the next twenty minutes I was looking up how much it would cost to install a lift, maintain a lift, how many times a lift might get used in a month, and how long lift equipment lasts.

In our building of course, the cost is subsumed into the rent, so it isn't a thing I could know for sure. Nonetheless, if my calculations are correct, it would (probably) cost about 30p per person per trip.

I wonder if that would make people take the stairs? Posters about how lifts cause obesity might not cut the mustard, but a porter with a fancy pair of gloves and a 30p-please type cough-cough on Level 2 might? Though, he'd need paying too, and that would surely put the price up.

Just think - this time last week I was at the 'Centre of the World', feeling all kinds of deep emotions in Jerusalem. Today, I'm working out how expensive it is to use a lift. I'm all about the big questions.