CHIMPS AND CROCODILES

I might have been too harsh yesterday. I think there are things I do care about, like the way people work together, the science of language, and of course, creating good work environments. It’s mostly the bits I don’t understand that leave me cold.

Understanding people though, is most of what work is actually about, and given that that topic stretches way beyond the boundaries of the office, there’s some useful stuff here, among the databases and developers.

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I woke up to the sound of birds singing in the pre-dawn blackness. Almost at once, my nose began to run with hay fever, and I rubbed my eyes with balled fists.

‘Urghb. Where ab I? ‘ I said, out loud, daftly. Of course, I was in Flat 3, Room 6, Block N, on the Penryn campus of Falmouth University - a college room with two beds, one wardrobe, no desk, and a space-capsule bathroom.

An hour later I was learning about innovation.

There were six sessions today. Two of the ones I chose were about neuroscience - the way in which the brain works. One presentation rehashed The Chimp Paradox by Steve Peters and rudely didn’t mention it. Another replaced the idea of a ‘monkey brain’ with an ‘inner crocodile’. I think there’s a difference between those two animals, but I got the picture.

Then, in another session a lady who works as a journalist and PR consultant took an hour to tell us all how wonderful her job was.

“And if you want me to come and write you a story,” she said, rubbing her hands, “Come and chat to me afterwards. I get really well paid for that kind of thing.”

She was a pleasant enough lady but she kept adding ‘ness’ to the end of words that didn’t need it; like ‘agileness’ and ‘PRness’. Forgivable yes, but it undermined her a little bit as a handsomely-paid, professional writer.

After all the sessions were done, we were ferried along to the beach party to pretend we could mingle. I tried, once again, but ended up hovering instead. I’m not convinced I can be anything but a wallflower in such situations, and on the beach that’s quite a skill as there are no walls, or flowers, for that matter.

“We’ll probably stick around, go to the pub for a couple of pints and then head back,” said Luke, as Steve, Lisa and I finished our last pints. “Only seems fair,” he concluded hilariously. He wandered back to the shoreline where Jamie was toasting marshmallows with some other delegates.

I’m officially old, I thought, fascinated by his assumption about how the five of us divided up in terms of our late-evening plans. The sea breeze wobbled the fairy lights and a couple of stars twinkled. You know what though, I’m not even sure I mind any more. Steve, Lisa and I  headed happily across the sand towards the road and the bus stop.

So I’m back in Flat 3, Room 6, Block N. It’s definitely time to end the day. It hasn’t been all that bad really - I learned some interesting things, and sat through a few things which were far from engaging, but that is I suppose, how things go.

Tomorrow, there are a few more intriguing talks, and then it’s the long journey home. And I am already tired from all the processing. It feels like the crocodile has eaten the chimp, and might be snappy. A good night’s sleep and some early morning fresh air will definitely help. And the wise part of my brain that’s not been crocodiddled, is telling me right now that I absolutely did the right thing by not staying out on the beach. Wise-ness.