ON THE SAME SIDE

After the couscous debacle the other week, I've been keeping an ear out for conversations on the bus. Alright, I admit it, I've been a nosy parker. But it's hard to avoid it on the bus. And it is illuminating.

This morning, a little boy was reading to his Mum. He tackled words like 'feathered' and 'fishing' with ease. His Mum was pleased too.

"That's really excellent," she said, "Well done."

A few moments later, he broke free of her lap and was lolloping on the seat across the aisle. I expected a volcanic eruption, so I was pleasantly surprised when she said softly and firmly:

"Come over here, please."

"But I love it over this side!"

"Come over here. Mummy likes it when you're on the same side as her."

I honestly thought that was so clever.

He reluctantly swung his way back, like Tarzan through the bus poles. She praised him for his obedience and reminded him that he should do what she asks him to do because she was an adult and he was not. I know some kids who would have rejected that logic, but this little chap went along with it.

No volcano had been necessary! And before long, she was pulling a small exercise book out of his rucksack and reading him a report on his good behaviour that had been written by his teacher. Praise again was working a treat, and I got the feeling that it was a very calculated, deliberate strategy.

"And do you think you can keep up the good behaviour at school today?" she asked him. He said yes. They pressed the bell and wobbled to the front of the bus, ready to hop off at the next stop.

I thought back to other dynamics I'd seen on the bus. Somehow, this super combination of love, praise and discipline was really working - now I'm not saying it would work for every child, but there's got to be something in it I think. There were no shenanigans - she was completely calm and continually in control of the situation, he was fully aware of all of the boundaries and many of their consequences, and it was a refreshing thing to have seen. It made me think a lot.

And also it definitely made me a nosy parker.