We’re having trouble with tin openers. I don’t know why. Up until recently we had a good’n. It clicked sweetly to the lip of a tin can, and then with one smooth action you could twist it around the top, until the lid simply peeled off.
Then it stopped working. We had a look at it, but all we could guess was that the teeth weren’t catching the can properly. We both had a go. When I turned the handle, the blade just whirled around in empty space and the tin remained unpunctured.
I think it was custard. Sammy will correct me; it might have been tuna, but let’s say a) that it was custard and b) that I know the difference. Custard it was. And custard dribbled from the can as I jagged the angled tin opener into the side of the tin, making the best of a blade that wouldn’t turn.
We’ve bought two new tin openers since then. You know, I’m not entirely sure we’re doing it properly - now the opener keeps getting stuck halfway around the can, and leaving sharp bits, and stringy shards of metal. I’m also sure your hand isn’t supposed to feel like you’ve been flexing industrial-sized jump leads either.
Ring pulls are probably the answer aren’t they? But they don’t manufacture them on everything (it seems) and for those things we’re still going to need a device. Perhaps a really fancy electric one? I guess you just attach it and push a button? Then, like some sort of Japanese robot, it raises the dripping lid towards you and beeps. Maybe a Christmas present? Maybe that’s ridiculous, and I should just get on with life without pouring custard on my jacket potato.
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