I’ve had the terrible hiccups, so instead of pushing a trolley round Sainsbury’s, I’m slowly digesting a hot oat milk at the in-store Starbucks.
I don’t get the hiccups very often, but for the last ten minutes my body has been involuntarily spasming and now I feel like my stomach is trying to turn itself inside out with each jolt of the diaphragm,
I don’t think Sammy minds. This was her idea. Though who knows what the trolley will be full of when she comes to find me in a minute. And if she runs into any fellow teachers, or parents of children who can’t quite believe that their teacher exists outside of the school, then she’ll be a little longer still. Honestly, sometimes it’s like being married to a local celebrity. I just stand in the background in much the same way personal protection officers would.
The milk is helping. It’s not really milk though is it? Oats aren’t mammals. I don’t actually know how oat milk is made and I don’t have signal for Google.
She’s back. Now all we have to do is pay, which is my job. Do they still say a shock is best for hiccups?
No comments:
Post a Comment