APRIL FOOLS' DAY

You know the people who say February 14th shouldn't be singled out as the one acceptable day for romantic gestures?

"Oh," they say, indignantly, "There are 364 other days, aren't there? Why have a special day for romance?"

Well, where are those people today? Here we are at the beginning of April: we have a special day for practical jokes, for celebrating the art of japery and for entertaining those closest to us by making them feel really foolish. Where are you, you naysayers, why aren't you claiming it ruins tomfoolery and horseplay for the rest of the year? eh?

For those of us not lucky enough to have a special someone to wind us up, April Fools' Day can be a really difficult time. We race into the front room to see if anyone's reset the clocks forward another hour; we push open doors in the vain hope that a lovingly placed waste-paper basket will tumble from the heavens and drench us in shredded paper. 'Oh to have that joker in our lives!' we lament to ourselves as we eat our very normal-tasting breakfast cereal and check our very ordinary-looking emails.

Then, when we get to work, we upturn our mouses for signs of sellotape over the laser, or a keyboard that's been thoughtfully set to the US layout. But nothing. Even our swivel chairs spin perfectly, without even a hint of a sudden collapse while we slump into them expectantly.

"You've got to get out there, get out on the pranking scene, play a joke or two!" says a thoughtful friend.

"What if they don't like it? What if they get really upset?" we reply, mournfully. "What if they don't even... notice?"

"Ah, but what if they do and they prank you back?"

And then there are those who are out there, rubbing it in. Yeah, they're always firing elastic bands at each other, hiding their stuff and signing each other up for Foot-Fungus-Monthly. Oh they know who they are, those joked-up, chuckling, hounds of hilarity. You'd think they could be more sensitive to us sensible unprankables, wouldn't you? After all, we're just waiting for the perfect joker. You'd think they could leave their insensitive public displays of disaffection somewhere we can't see them... Oh woe is us...

*ahem*

Happy April Fools' Day, everyone! ;)