KEEP CALM, AND CARRY ON IN THE WRONG KEY

Well, I've lost my voice again. That's carols for you. Last night I zipped down to Winchester to help the Vineyard church with their carol service.

It was all going really well until I started a song in the wrong key.

A man in a Christmas jumper was reading...

"And there were shepherds  living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them..."

I looked down at the synth in front of me, a Roland Juno, glowing in the dark like a set of fairy lights. As soon as the reading was over, I was supposed to play a D using a soft pad, a kind of heavenly, smooth stringy sound which would give the note for the lead singer to start It Came Upon The Midnight Clear. Seamlessly, we'd then flow straight into Phil Wickham's You're Beautiful.

The digital display was flashing. Jazz Scat Voice 01.

That, I thought, panicking, is going to sound about as ethereal as Timmy Mallet. How has that happened!? I quickly span through the dial, looking for the other pad.

"Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel..." continued the man in the Christmas jumper.

Aaaagh. Should have found a way to save a preset. Where is this? Strings, orchestra hit, accordion, starburst, albion, vector... should have... found something...

"Glory to God in the highest heaven..."

Warm Pad! That'll do!

"...and on earth, peace to those on whom his favour rests."

Go!

I played a G.

A G!

The singer launched into the song. I suddenly realised. I was supposed to have played a D! We were about to sing something about 4 notes higher than it should have been!

I gulped. I looked around at the band - they'd all realised.

"I'm really sorry," I mouthed.

The singer looked worried. Rightly so. He'd be fine with It Came Upon the Midnight Clear, but You're Beautiful was probably about to sound like a herd of straining cats in a room with the lights switched off. I felt the sweat beading beneath my shirt.

There are three options in this situation. 1) Stop and start again - nobody likes that one. 2) Change the key - tough unless you're all practiced and ready to change together. It takes consummate skill to pull that one off without it sounding clunky, cheesy or just plain awful... or 3) Keep going and hope for the best.

Keep calm and carry on in G Major. 3 it was.

It was uncomfortable. I pushed my voice up to back up the lead singer from the second verse - and strained the top of my voice as high as it has ever gone. He dropped down an octave, the band jammed along with the new chords and the whole thing gasped across the finish line like a fancy-dress santa claus in need of some oxygen.

Funny thing is, I'm not sure anyone out there in the dark would have noticed all of that.

By the time we got to the extended Hark the Herald and the full-on ska sound of Ding Dong Merrily on High, I could barely sing a note.

What's more, those arrangements were the ones we've used at the famous Christmas Eve Barn Service for the last few years - so that made it feel like we should have been in a freezing livestock barn, wrapped up in coats and scarves, rather than a warm church with the smell of mulled wine percolating from the back. That all added to the little sadness (I know I'm not alone in feeling) that the barn service has been discontinued.

Plus, it's not Christmas Day today, more the pity. And I've still got three more carolling events to go!

I guess someone's got to keep the people who make strepsils in business.