CLICKBAIT NEWS

Saturday morning. Cornflakes, and a quick scroll through the clickbait news.

Victoria Beckham reveals why she doesn't smile in photos... apparently it's because she 'has a responsibility to the fashion community' not to let on that she's secretly 'comedy gold'. She's done a first-rate job of keeping that hidden away all these years. The article also included a picture of The Spice Girls, circa 1997 in which they look like giggling students who've turned up for freshers' week in fancy dress. Pop music's really changed hasn't it.

Meanwhile, a 36-year-old model reveals that she and her husband lead a 'normal life' despite the fact that he is less than three-feet tall. To be honest, the whole thing might just as well say: oooh, look over there, look, look, look at the pwetty lady with the ickle dwarf, bet you're wondering how they got together, awww love eh... but how do they... you know... ooh matron... Yeah shut up, article. This isn't news.

I see old Justin Bieber's photoshopped himself some muscles. Outrageous. Someone's leaked the before and after shots. It prompted me to ask a philosophical question: what's the difference between photoshop and autotune? Can you photoshop talent? Oh, and can we have the Spice Girls back please?

Never thought I'd say that, in 1997.

Anyway, that's enough cornflakes and trashy news sites. I only went there because the actual news is quite depressing.  I've got writing to do. I'm carrying on with the book today, hoping that I don't get cravings for jelly-babies, or lost in self-loathing. It'd be interesting to work out which of those is more likely, but it would also be pointless procrastination. If you're going to procrastinate, at least do something useful. I think I'll start by putting the kettle on.