CAPITAL ADVENTURING

10:16 On the train. The sunlight flickers rapidly through the houses as they spin past. I'm standing with my feet shoulder-width apart as the train bounces around. Something squeaks and rattles, the wind rushes in through a tiny gap at the top of the push-up window. It's all a bit uncomfortable.

It's my day off today. Emmie, Nick, their Canadian friend Elaura and I are off to London to do a bit of sight-seeing. 'The Big Smoke' they used to call it, back in the days when it was grimy, industrial murky old London. In those days, the pea-soupers would roll off the Thames and fill the streets with lamplit clouds of fog.

It couldn't be more different today. Monstrous gleaming spires rise up past those blackened old buildings. Smart shoes and briefcases hurry down busy streets and the Thames glistens in the million dollar sunshine.

Who knows what we'll see today. The train rumbles on...

11:09 Standing outside a shop I *ahem* really don't want go in. We're in Oxford Street, a long strip of commercialised fancy. I like looking up at the old facades, high above the plastic shop fronts. They whisper about old times, above the shiny fronted fashionable outlets and relentless hubbub.

11:40 Hamleys. This is a ridiculous place, a kind of nauseously huge orange toy box. I think you can only get a job here if you're an extrovert or a bit of an oddball. Some of these people are dancing to the Spice Girls on heelies, others are bopping and singing and going up to customers with impromptu magic tricks. It's a weird place, this. I can't help wondering how it can exist in a world where some children live in mud without food or clean water. There are expensive fluffy toys everywhere.

12:13 Piccadilly Circus. We're in a shop called Cool Britannia. There are mugs with Prince George's face on them, Union Jack key rings, fluffy beefeaters, little red postboxes and a full-size classic red, white and blue mini. Outside, the famously large screen flashes adverts for Coca-Cola, TDK and Samsung. Why is this one of the classic views of London? Do you know what, it doesn't even really look like itself.

12:52 Well this is nice. Trafalgar Square in the warm spring sunshine. There are people everywhere, spilling out of the national gallery and round the Landseer lions. It's selfie city central here. Someone has propped a small child between the bronze paws of one of these things. I'm not sure Nelson approves.

Elaura's taught me how to take panoramic pictures! Amazing!

13:15 The Houses of Parliament look hazy today, sort of silhouetted on the banks of the Thames. Every now and then the sun catches the glinting Zimbabwean gold and the wind ruffles a flag. Funny to think how much of our lives is dictated here, within these grand old walls and windows.

Nick told me he thinks the national lottery might be fixed to make sure that the shareholders get high interest rates on money they haven't had to pay out.

We've walked round the back and over the bridge. The river is a queasy green, lapping at the concrete grey embankment. The heart of London, flowing and tumbling through the grand old city, always changing, always the same. In the shadow of a hazy Westminster palace, it seems like a good metaphor for politics somehow.

14:20 St George's Tavern. I have no idea where we are, somewhere in SW1 in the corner of a dark pub, waiting for a tray of drinks to saunter over to the table, and for Nick to get back from the passport office. The waitress seems vaguely disinterested.

15:49 Still in this dark corner. The guys are going on to the Natural History Museum and Buckingham Palace, which I love, but my Mum's not well and I need to get home.

16:18 On the circle line, returning to Paddington. Nick and Emmie and Elaura have said their goodbyes and have gone on to look at dinosaurs. I love dinosaurs; they appeal to the natural boyishness in all our species - giant monsters roaming the earth, devouring, chomping and hooting into the prehistoric skies. What's not to love?

Meanwhile the circle line is a rich source of people-watching-material. The ladies next to me are comparing coke and diet coke in over-abundant detail. I start wondering what future palaeontologists would make of a fossilised tube train - would they capture the sounds, smells, subtle nuances of our society, preserved in silent bones? I don't like thinking about that. Paddington next stop.

16:50 

"Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to Theale on an off-peak ticket?"

"Yes mate, five-o-six, platform 3."

"Yes but it won't let me through the b..."

"There you go."

"Cheers."

I'm still not convinced this is the right train.

Buckingham Palace would have been nice. I haven't stood outside those gates for a long time. We used to watch for twitching curtains, the royal standard fluttering majestically in the breeze, you know those little signs that someone might be in. Surrounded by people from almost every conceivable tongue, I'd get a little bubbling pride that this was our noble Queen, our symbol of monarchy and our great palace at the heart of our beautiful country.

As it is I'm on the 5:06 to Bradford-on-Avon.

18:14 Home. I'm quite exhausted actually. Great day though.