Phone the papers. This, my friends, is unusual. I've already said no to two people today. Not 'I'm awfully sorry but I don't think that will be possible,' not 'Maybe later' and not 'Yes, erm probably,' ... but full on 'no' in all its two-letter, one-syllable glory.
What a wonderful word. It's like a sword, cutting through the fog of ambiguity, glinting with truth as it slices open the cake of doubt. Listen to its swish of short, sharp authority. No. No. No. Beautiful.
The problem with 'no' is that we all learnt it in connection with negative experiences. Can I put my hand in the fire? Can I eat this pile of broken glass? Can I play with the stair-gate? Can I open the front door?
Every time we heard it it reinforced a boundary. There was suddenly a strong dividing line between the thing we wanted to do and the unseen danger it put us in. No came to represent someone in authority, arbitrarily deciding to spoil our fun, whether it was parents, teachers, grownups or just bullies who wouldn't let us play football.
Each time, it hurt and each time it became an unpleasant rejection. What's more, these negative experiences have connected an emotional response to the word which makes us want to avoid it altogether.
However, I think that 'no' is actually a positive word and not just the heartsinking negative admonition we've all grown up with.
We're adults now - we operate through rational perspective, seeing the bigger picture, knowing the pain of broken glass, burning flames and unhealthy relationships. We know that it's no that often keeps us safe from those things, even when it establishes an unspoken hierarchy between the sender and the recipient.
In fact, those painful things have actually taught us how to wield that sword wisely and well. It's just that sometimes we don't want other people to feel as crushed by it as we would be.
At least, that's what it is for me. Maybe it's exhaustion today, maybe my diplomacy filter is clogged up and I just can't be bothered, or maybe I'm fed up with being walked over and burnt out all the time.
Either way, I feel much more determined to be frank, concise and honest with everyone at the moment - and I'm not overly bothered about the consequences.
Ah, the consequences. Look out, he's got a sword! Yes, well actually I have a feeling that being more assertive, using the word no positively and just saying it how it is, might actually have an equally positive effect on those around me. After all, nobody really trusts a yes-man, even if they're sat next to the Power Chair. It is always much better to be honest... isn't it?
I hope it lasts. I quite like a bit of swordsmanship.
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