SOFTBALL FOR THE TEDIOPHOBE

I tried looking up the proper name for a fear of boredom today. All I got was a list of psychology websites and articles by middle-aged mums. I soon got fed up with that so I went back on Google Maps and 'wandered around' Ground Zero on a rainy New York Day.

I'm starting to think it's OK to vary things a bit, do things which are unexpected and out of routine. Perhaps, then, that's how I ended up playing softball in the grounds of a stately home. Perhaps. 

Actually, it was more out of duty; I was supposed to lock up the cricket pavilion at the end when the guy would turn up looking for the keys. I'd been assigned that duty by the person who had kindly taken over from me when I had accidentally volunteered to run a cricket match. They'd turned it into softball (cricket was too complicated), booked the cricket pitch at Englefield House and asked me to be there to the dusky end. It was the least I could do.

So it was that I found myself playing softball as the sun went down. It's a bit different, right? Anti-boredom? Good way to mingle with colleagues?

I stood in the outfield waiting for the ball to come my way. The grass was turning gold, striped with long dark shadows from the trees. Far above the imposing turrets of the house, the clouds were lined with silver and the sunlight beamed from behind them, sinking happily into a perfect summer's eveni...

"Second, SECOND!" shouted someone as the ball thwacked towards me. I knelt in the grass, scooped it up as it rolled to me, and threw it as hard as I could towards the nearest, most competent person. Dimitrios, who'd just whacked the ball at me, started pounding in my direction like an angry rhino. I did what years of human instinct has developed in my species, and got out of the way, quick.

It was fun, doing something different, I guess. I'm not sure sport is really for me though. I can't run, I can't catch, I can't stay on my feet and I'm starting to realise that my reactions aren't as fast as they used to be. There was one moment tonight when I lost my balance and did a sort of sideways stumble, only just managing to stay on my feet. I couldn't throw the ball at the same time and when I recovered from the little tailspin, I actually felt a bit dizzy. 37 I am. Probably needed a sit down after that.

So I did stay to the dusky end. The guy came along, locked up properly and took the bins with him. I went home feeling quite exhausted. Maybe I need less exerting ways to feel alive and more creative ideas to stave off that terrible tediophobia.