Tuesday, 28 July 2015

THREE AIR BEDS AND THE WORLD'S SQUEAKIEST PUMP

The other day I heard myself saying this sentence:

"Oh yeah, camping's easy, so long as you're really well prepared."

I knew as soon as I said it, that it was one of those things that would come back to me. And indeed it did, at about 11pm last night when I was furiously trying to pump up an air bed by dangling torchlight. This was the second air bed of the day, loaned to me for the night when I realised that my first borrowed air bed had a valve that no earthly pump could fit and was determined to remain flatter than an envelope.

This second air bed would have been magnificent - chunky, double-strength material underneath with a smooth velvety overside and a double-stop valve to prevent any mid-night deflations. However, unfortunately  for me, I was trying to blow it up with the world's least efficient, and squeakiest pump. While most of the campsite was already snoozing, I was on my hands and knees, inside my tent, making a noise like a frog having a heart attack. And air bed number two was not inflating.

"Are you winning?" called Winners from the next tent.

I exhaled, fed up and exhausted. The pump nozzle popped out of the valve and the air bed starting hissing.

"No, not really," I replied through the canvas. I had no real desire to unroll my sleeping bag onto the cold floor and spend a night with backache. I would if I had to though - I might not have had much choice. However at the rate my pump was working, I would have inflated air bed number two by about sunrise.

"Well why don't you borrow one of ours?" he said. It seemed to me like a jolly good idea. And that's how I got to spend my first night of The Gathering in a tent with three air beds and the world's squeakiest pump.

Yeah camping's easy, I reckon. So long as you're well prepared.


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