NOTES FROM A LONG MEETING

Imagine a meeting where 20% of the content is vital to you, but you don't know at what point those things will come up - only that they will almost certainly not be discussed together. Now imagine that that meeting lasts ALL DAY...

OK big sigh. Try not to look like you're disinterested. 

The developers are talking tech-babble again. It's like the dullest episode of Star Trek, where they all sit round and talk about proton convection conduits and thermochronic invection circuits while stars fly past the window.

Only there are no stars out there - just raindrops. And in here, there's nothing as exciting as a barometric impulsion drive - just a lot of work that goes under the hood to make databases work and Java code update without breaking things.

We're on point 3 out of 70. Nothing relevant yet. I'd better look like I'm understanding some of this instead of tapping away on my phone in the corner.

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I once had an interview where I was asked which member of the crew of the Starship Enterprise I would be. I said I'd be Spock because I'd keep a cool, logical head in a crisis. Wishful thinking. Here in this environment I'm ensign redshirt, dragged along for the meeting and beamed down on to the cardboard planet where I'll be vaporised by a Dilurian Slugmoth while the A-team just make it back to the ship before the planet blows up.

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Point 5. Still nothing. I might go for a comfort break while the rest of the crew carry on with their phaser configuration charts and tetratonic portal discussions.

I guess you can't sit around for long in a meeting like this before you have to boldly go...