WHAT'S HAPPENING IN THE WORLD?

Twitter's gone very philosophical now. Presumably fed up with asking me what I'm watching, it's now sending emails with the subject line:

Matt Stubbs, what's happening in the world?

Sigh. I don't know Twitter, I'm as baffled as you are. There's a nasty virus in South America, there's a nasty bunch of scumbags in the Syrian desert and there's a nasty-looking race between shiny-haired people to see who gets to be the leader of the free world.

Meanwhile there are a few loons who like the sound of jackboots and tanks and atomic weapons and a whole host of people who don't think those things are a good idea for loons at all.

Also Twitter, there are people going on about people who are paid too much and are yet still mysteriously unintelligent, sports people who are weirdly obsessed with winning all the time, and journalists who are two steps away from selling their grandmothers for a good story.

But you know all this, don't you, Twitter - after all, you're Twitter, why are you asking me? Every day billions of tweets paint the canvas with the most detailed answer history has ever seen, to that particular question.

Maybe you'd like to know what's going on in my world? Perhaps you're asking me what's new in my hyper-local news bulletin, down here on the micro-scale that frames this tiny life? Maybe you want me to tweet about it.

Well, maybe I will. After all, that bit of the world I can actually do something about.