DICTIONARY CORNER

By the way, it was Samuel Johnson. Oh you remember, the 18th Century dictionary guy. He was the one who declared that a man grows tired of London when he grows tired of life. And yes, it was long before the Tube.

I was reading about Dr Johnson today. It's quite likely he had Tourette's Syndrome. His biographer, a man called Boswell, noted in detail his various ticks and outbursts. Imagine that: the first recognised dictionary writer had Tourette's! I always imagined Samuel Johnson looked like Robbie Coltrane in a powder wig clutching a 'big papery thing tied up with string'. But then, I would, wouldn't I? I grew up in the 1980s.*

It's been a while since I've used a dictionary. I've got two on my desk but I got perturbed by the Q section once so I started using an online one instead. All those words beginning with a Q suddenly started to look weird as I flicked through them. I probably should have stuck with it though; it would have been useful for Scrabble, not to mention knowing the difference between actual words and words I'd imagined I'd heard and hadn't.

I wonder whether Dr Johnson got tempted to simply make up his own words and slip them in, just for a laugh? I might have tried it if I were expompulate enough to invacerate some new expressions. Alas, I'm not the word-genius he was. And anyway, if he did do that then those words would be in circulation and therefore defined as actual words like 'bamboozle' and 'porcelain'. I guess really, you can say what you like when you're making the first dictionary. By definition, old Johnners would have been unbeatable at Scrabble.

I'd take him on at Hungry Hippos though.

*Well done if you got that. Give yourself a literary pie at Mrs Miggins' pie shop.