BACON

I skipped the smoothie today because it was too early to blend this morning (it's noisy) and I had to be at work for a special presentation from the big boss's underground secret volcano base in some exotic time zone.

There were bacon sandwiches provided anyway so I thought I'd go along for that option.

Can someone remind me next time please, that bacon is packed packed packed with salt? I drank about a gallon of water and still my throat was dry.

"I think I'm craving fruit or something," I croaked to Junko on our regular Skype call. She told me that the body adapts quickly to routine.

Don't misunderstand me; I love bacon! It's the wonderstuff of carnivores, wafting its appetising aroma about the place and sizzling happily in the pan like hot rain.

Few can resist its call, and even vegetarians feel duty-bound (I imagine) to tell you it's the 'one thing' they 'miss' even when (as I suspect) they don't miss it quite as much as they think we need them to, in order to apparently justify our eating of part of a farmyard animal between two buttery slices of bread.

But it does sometimes leave me drier than a Saharan cracker. And I keep forgetting.

So tomorrow it's back to the succulent mulch of cool apple, banana and lovely spinach, globbing down the back of my throat as I check my emails.

You can't beat a smoothie. Well, you can't beat it at all in the early hours of the morning when your neighbours are still asleep, or at 11pm the night before. It's really noisy.