DODGY KOREAN BURGER FROM THE POP-UP TRUCK

I ate a Korean burger the other day from the pop-up truck.

I wish I hadn't. It was sort of putrid, spicy chicken in crunchy breadcrumbs with deep-fried red cabbage. The bun fell apart and the loosely arranged contents slid about between the bread until bits started squeezing themselves out of the bottom and dropping into the cardboard box the whole ghastly arrangement had come in.

In the end I had to use a knife and fork. I've been laughed at before for eating a burger with cutlery. However, until someone figures out how to make a burger that doesn't fall apart when you try to eat it, I will revert to the traditional implements for transferring food to my mouth and you can all laugh... while lettuce and chicken and mayo slips out of your hands and all over the table.

I just can't believe they eat that in Korea. It was so awful it made me feel depressed when I'd finished it. And yes, I finished it; I was starving. I actually felt so unimpressed with myself that I sat there tapping away at my computer for the whole afternoon, thinking about how disgusting it was.

I wished I'd gone to Sainsbury's. Sometimes I get a craving for vegetables - I'd have gladly gnawed on some broccoli or chomped down a few crispy carrots or something.

I think the worst part of it was that halfway through, I couldn't help thinking that the poor chicken I was eating had lived something of a life in vain.  I'm not saying I want to be a vegetarian or anything (although sometimes I do wonder). I'm just saying that a living creature had lived, breathed, pecked and clucked, only to be slaughtered, covered in tangy juice and breadcrumbs, fried and sandwiched between glossy bread with tasteless red cabbage, and then... definitely not enjoyed by the unhappy technical author slicing away at it in the office kitchen.

I won't be going back to the pop-up truck. The developers had raved about how good the food there was. I can only assume that for the rest of the time they all live off pot noodles.

While we're here, I should point out that last week, my friends Sarah and Martin made the best vegetarian roast I have ever tasted. It always amazes me how well my friends can cook, especially when I'm just so time-poor and unadventurous. I will revisit this theme because they will all read this and tell me that I can do a lot better.

I tell you what, I can certainly do a lot better than a dodgy Korean burger from the pop-up truck.