UNAFRAID TO FAIL

Okay, I'm learning. Keeping it simple, not going too deep too quickly. Nice, easy, deep breath and...

Be unafraid to fail.

What?

I heard it on the radio this morning. A lady phoned in in the middle of a discussion about teaching creative subjects. She said that kids need to learn how to be 'unafraid to fail.'

The car buzzed with resonance. Not just schoolkids, lady, not just them! All of us! Actually, me; I can speak for me.

I started wondering whether this might be God showing me the next key principle in unlocking and channelling my frustrations.

Be unafraid to fail.

Success is brilliant isn't it? People tell us all kinds of things when we succeed. They say:

"You're so good at that, well done!"

"Oh you were awesome."

"What would we have done without you?"

... and that's very nice, confidence-boosting esteem isn't it?

I think though, all of that gets wrapped up in our identity sometimes. And there's nothing wrong with that, particularly if our own unique genius has been responsible for some trailblazing achievement.

But the flip-side is the fear of failure, and it's there thanks to a subconscious world of opposites. It's logical, look:

Success = you're awesome!

Failure = you're not awesome.

Success = you should be proud of yourself!

Failure = you should be ... ashamed of yourself.

Success = you're really good at that!

Failure = you're not very good at that.

The real truth is though that we're deceiving ourselves with this logical switch. It isn't actually true. Here's what I think:

Failure is awesome.

Why? Because it shows us some truth, and truth always leads to a bit of freedom. It points to areas where we could improve and it shows us with the clarity of a mirror, how things really are.

You are not linked to your failure.

What I mean is: what made you awesome before you succeeded still makes you awesome after you failed. The outcome of your activity has nothing to do with your actual identity and you shouldn't believe that it does.

That's why I think the result of failing shouldn't be the opposite of the result of succeeding. I think failure helps to channel us in better directions and reminds us of who we are, and who we aren't. We should embrace it!

How does all this link back to my frustration problem?

Well, my failure has consistently frustrated me. In response to my poor performance (and my perception of my poor performance, which let's face it, is sometimes a different thing), I've heaped more coal into the firebox of my life and created a skyfull of steam that has taken me nowhere and has blinded the track.

I think if I can channel failure, not be afraid of it, embrace it and, hey, maybe even celebrate it, perhaps I can start moving things.

But one thing I absolutely need to remind myself of is that if I do fail at something, it doesn't actually change who I am.

In fact, if I agree with the principle of dissociating failure and identity, then calling myself a failure makes very little sense at all. Actually, what I'm technically doing there is suggesting that God himself failed when he designed and built me.

And I can't tell you how little I believe that.