HALFWAY ROUND THE LAKE

I'm by the lake today. Miraculously (and by walking halfway around it) I've found a bench hidden in the shade, and out of the sniffing-zone of most passing dogs.

I sat here once before, I remember, just hidden by the brambles that tumble to the water's edge. A couple, who were very interested in each other, came and sat nearby, just by the bank, and didn't see me. In hindsight I realised I ought to have coughed or stood up straight away to avoid the embarrassment. But for some reason, I froze. Within just a few moments it was too late - I was trapped, a hostage of fortune in someone else's romantic moment.

Not so today. I'm noisily chomping away at my lunch, waiting for the perfect moment to go to my Dad's birthday party.

He's told everyone he doesn't want a birthday or a fuss. Naturally, my sisters have gone out of their way to organise him a birthday and a fuss. I am commanded to be there. 

So I scoured the shop for the perfect card - in my mind, the perfect card for my Dad is plain and says 'Happy Birthday, Old Bean' - the card makers have clearly not catered for my dad's simple taste - and then brought my lunch out here for a bit of respite.

I've bought salt-and-vinegar crisps for some reason. I don't like salt-and-vinegar crisps. Actually I'm not even sure I like crisps. What was I thinking? Hooked in by the Meal Deal.

Anyway. I'm by the lake. I can hear all kinds of strange birds, chirping and squawking. The sun paints the water like a silk canvas and the breeze slowly shuffles the clouds through the bluest of skies.

I feel a bit odd today. I'm not sure quite why, just sort of off-the-boil. Of course there are probably people who don't think I get much above 60°C anyway, but even by my usual lukewarm standards, I feel... subdued.

It will pass, this quietness. I just don't know how long it will last. And there's no real reason for it - I've had a great weekend, recording and moving music around a screen; I finally got a Nord Stage 2EX after all the babbling and procrastination. Plus I had a relaxed time on holiday. I ought to be more chilled and happy than this.

There's always a choice when you're halfway round the lake: forward, or back the way you came. It doesn't matter though; you always end up in the same place. In my case, going to the party of a man who doesn't really want one. Or, perhaps my sisters imagine that secretly, deep-down, he actually does? He's hard to work out after all. I do think though, he'd much prefer a quiet afternoon, halfway round the lake.