THE VIEW FROM THE BUNKER

Right. Tin helmet on, armoured-plating intact, and bunker... secure. I'm ready. For today I'm going to talk about parenting...

"And if people see you behaving badly..." she said, pushing the trolley, "Do you know what they will think? They'll think that I'm a bad mummy..."

I didn't hear the little boy's response to that. I'd already moved by. I didn't see his face either,  but I can guess the expression. I have 'spirited' nephews with selective hearing - I've heard it and seen it before, and today's reaction to that bit of teaching, I would wager, was probably confused indifference.

First of all, it doesn't make sense to a small child. How does the behaviour of one person affect other people's view of another person?  It's quite a complex leap of reasoning, and it requires quite an adult thought - that responsibility is inter-connected.

Secondly, it sort of absolves the blame from him to her, even if it's a little subconscious. So it's her fault then that I'm misbehaving? Given that I don't even understand the link in the first place, this seems like an excellent motivator to do it again, next time we're in Sainsbury's.

Thirdly, it actually reinforces the disconnection between action and consequence. This is a classic hallmark of immaturity, I think: to imagine that 'someone else' will pick up my rubbish, will tidy up my mess and will sort out my self-created problem. I think, that if you want well-rounded, responsible grown-up children, you have to teach them this early - and I mean really early. It's Newton's 3rd Law of Motion, it's The Principle of Sowing and Reaping, and it's at the heart of our insistence on justice, fairness and equality.

I'm okay I think. I've survived so far. Phew.