FLIGHTLESS BIRDS

The green dye in the lake has turned rusty brown. It looks like a toxic spill through the middle of the park.

Which, I suppose, it actually is - though the people who run the park are reassuring us that the ducks will be absolutely fine.

It's not just the roof-engineers though, who might have had an intelligence-blip. I just asked Erica if ostriches were marsupials.

I probably won't live this one down.

It came about because I suddenly found myself wondering whether the word 'ostrich' was related to 'autrichien' or maybe 'österreichisch' - the French and German words for 'Austrian' respectively. Don't mock me; it's just the way my brain works. So I looked it up, and it turns out that it has nothing to do with it, and the word 'ostrich' came from a Greek word for 'big sparrow'...

Of course it did. But I got confused because I couldn't for the life of me figure out how the Greeks would have come up with a word for ostriches...

"That's peculiar," I said.

"What?" replied Erica.

"Well, how could the Ancient Greeks have a word for ostriches before they were discovered?"

"Er..."

"Wait!" I said, thinking. And then I suddenly asked:

"Are ostriches marsupials?"

I wonder sometimes whether I might be a bit stupid. To not realise that marsupials are mammals seems like a bit of a primary-school error on its own, but to then also confuse ostriches with emus! I shook my head in shame.

Ostriches are African. It turns out that they are struthioniformes just like emus, kiwis and the South American rhea - the flightless bird club. They also prance around in The Lion King don't they - which is notably not set in the Australian outback.

I've written a post-it-of-shame in capital letters: "MARSUPIALS ARE MAMMALS" and I've stuck it to my monitor to remind me... I mean the pouch ought to be a giveaway... that I don't know everything.

Meanwhile the ducks outside seem a little reticent to go in the water. They're wobbling about on the grass and enjoying the cool clear rain that's safe and familiar.

I don't blame them.