THE FLAT-EARTHER

I'm going to give B.o.B the benefit of the doubt I think. It's almost certainly a publicity stunt.

Plus, I don't know much about hip-hop, so I've looked him up.

Robert is 28. He had a little bit of success a few years ago it seems, but it's likely that his career would never have pushed him to the full Snoop. But you can't fault Bob's ambition for notoriety.

It must have been that exact ambition that led him to the world of conspiracy theories. My view is, in response to a good old conspiracy theory, you can do one of two things:

You can go:

"Oooh," in wide-eyed wonder and let yourself believe the 'compelling' evidence for 9/11 being an inside job, the Moon Landings being faked, and Elvis working in the local chip shop.

Or you can go:

"Hang on," and use your rational brain to play devil's advocate against your childish need to prove something that hardly anybody serious believes.

If you're astute there, you might just have spotted me letting the cat out of the bag about which side of the fence I'm on.

Anyway, B.o.B is making news today because he's crowd-funding for enough cash to launch a fleet of satellites which prove once and for all that the Earth is flat.

His theory is that NASA staff are actually preventing people from falling off the edge.

"There's no curve!" cry the flat-earthers. "Stand somewhere high! Where's the curve?"

Now, as I say, it's almost certainly a publicity stunt, but it is interesting.

So here are a few experiments I reckon Bobby could do to make his life a bit easier without splashing out on disappointingly-expensive geosynchronous orbital equipment.

1. Stand somewhere higher

This one's free, Robert. Find a cliff by the sea and look really carefully at the horizon. Try to prove that it's a flat-line. Take a ruler if you like.

By the way, Aristotle tried it thousands of years before you. He saw ships disappearing hull first over the horizon. Have a think about that.

2. Keep a look out for the next lunar eclipse

It's a good one this. Take a look at the shadow of the Earth on the moon when it passes in front of it. What causes that?

3. Ask yourself why

If the Earth is flat, Bob, presumably we're on the top of it. Why would NASA keep the edge a big secret? What's to gain? What's underneath? Surely that would mean that it's really wacky to believe that the Earth is a sphere (or an oblate spheroid, actually). Why?

4. Look at some photographs

Now you'll say they're photoshopped of course. But I remember the parachute jump of Felix Baumgartner - a man who had no need to prove it either way, and I'm pretty sure the continuous video-feed showed him spin out of his capsule past a remarkably curvy-looking Earth.

5. Go on a round-the-world-cruise

Alright. Maybe all the pilots, all the airlines and all the ships are all in on it. Maybe there are millions of people involved in crossing the seas and the clouds every day with this phenomenal secret churning uncomfortably in their heads. Maybe they and their families, their friends and their colleagues are all brilliant secret-keepers who tremble at the visit of the Men in Black or the Illuminati if they accidentally reveal the true nature of the great disc. Maybe. But go on. Have an adventure. See for yourself. You can afford it.

But maybe poor old B.o.B can't afford it. Maybe that's what this is all about - jump-starting a hip-hop career with lunatic theories to get himself out there.

If so, I probably ought not to talk about him at all - it only fuels the flames, like pointing out the attention-seeking columnist who is deliberately offensive, or even reacting to the kid who eats crisps off the playground floor. Best just to ignore it isn't it really? Maybe move on and do something... worthwhile...

... eh Bob.