Well it’s taken nearly eight years, but it looks like I’ve been given my very own nickname by the cool kids at work!
Finally! I can join the ranks of NikNak, Butters, Katsu, and Princess Ironballs. And what hallowed ranks they are, chronicling the hilarious tales of bursting heroics and fury around the office! Though my new nickname is based on neither of those things really.
“So we had to name a bit of code after you,” said Butters, washing his hands in the sink. So we called it ‘DeepStubsReturns’. He waved a hand over an imaginary billboard for comic effect.
I reckon it’s because I started a ‘haiku’ channel on Slack, and filled it with such gems as:
Certain, we sailed on
The deep, restless ocean of
An uncertain sea
and,
He who underlines
Everything he ever writes
Underlines nothing
Hence I became “DeepStubs”, which I told Butters and Jamie I didn’t mind at all.
“To be honest, it wouldn’t matter if you did,” they said, “We were still going to call you it.”
I didn’t ask what the DeepStubsReturns bit of code did. I hope it stores and releases variables at appropriate moments, but at all other times just sits there quietly like an unassuming subroutine.
It wouldn’t surprise me though if it opens a web browser and spends several hours researching how to debate physics with a Flat Earther.
I do wish I weren’t quite so deep sometimes. It’s just the way my mind works, and I like it, but it can a bit tiresome I suspect for the brain-weary. I have to pick my moments for philosophy theories, and my moments for talking about football.
Or of course my moments for both - a Venn diagram which I think also swallows up: social bonding in cultural or tribal groups; the unifying power of a single, local cause to a community, and of course, the initiation of outsiders into established friendship using... guess what... nicknames.
Well.
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