ISLANDS OF RESPECTABLE

The other day, someone gave me a hug because I was wearing a suit. It was at the Nigerian wedding I mentioned.

That seems like a really weird reason to give someone a hug. I mean plenty of very nasty, unhugged people wear suits every day; some would say it’s almost the uniform.

I wouldn’t say that. After all, I was wearing one. And there I was being hugged in the same way a baby gets its cheeks pinched and its nose tweaked. I was half-expecting to have my hair tousled, and for me to have to humorously (but loudly nonetheless) announce that I am 42 years old you know.

Well the moment passed and I rearranged my lapels. I’m secretly not complaining really - it was ever such a nice thing, and a moment that made me just a little bit teary.

I can’t say why. Perhaps I just needed a hug that day, and for whatever reason, that happened to be my love language. It’s tricky when that’s exactly what you need, but you have to be an island of respectable.

It was of course because I don’t often wear a suit, and the novelty itself was huggable. I’ve written before about how clunky a suit feels, and I’ve thought before too, about how that’s more to do with its quality off the peg. Nonetheless, it must have at least looked the part.

The smartness and the novelty then (otherwise I could just randomly dress up as a chicken and have to fend off the hugs with my feathery wings). And those two things have to happen in moderation - weddings, funerals, interviews - though I have a feeling that last one might not be the right tonal moment for a ‘bring it in’ bear hug.

Oh and wear it too often and it all just blends into the background and becomes the tired business wear of Bedraggled of The Northern Line. And there’s nothing particularly novel or smart about that.

So it is then. Long may it be until I have to wear a suit again, and short may it be until someone decides I need a hug regardless. Though, a quick bit of advice from this middle-aged island of respectable. If I do look like I need a hug and you’re not really sure you know me well enough, the best thing to do is ask permission first. Even if I secretly really like it.