In Part 1, I was thinking about how difficult it seems to be to change your mind about something - especially if you tweeted it, posted it, *ahem* blogged about it, or just said it out loud on the public record.
Churchill for example, changed his mind about views he held earlier in his life, but is still boxed up in Parliament Square due to the awfulness of those opinions. I made the point that many famous people have had to deal with old tweets in their heartfelt apologies to stop their careers being torpedoed. We're quick to judge them.
My (maybe slightly controversial) theory is that: behaviour invites a label, and labels can become a lifestyle. Let me explain:
Imagine you go out with friends to a swanky restaurant. A particular vegetarian dish catches your eye and you, even though you eat meat often at home, decide that you'll order it.
"Didn't know you were a veggie?" muses a friend. You explain that you're not, but you just liked the look of that particular dish. And it does indeed turn out to be delicious.
You go again a few weeks later; same group of people, same establishment. Still enamoured with the succelent flavours you encountered before, you decide to try the other vegetarian option from the menu this time. And once again, it is an incredible dish.
"Are you sure you're not a vegetarian?" asks your pal while you're tucking in.
You're really not, but your friend raises an eyebrow.
Your behaviour is inviting a label. If you repeat that behaviour, it becomes harder and harder to reject the label of 'vegetarian' in the eyes of everyone you know.
What's more, there's every chance you'll keep exploring how delicious vegetables can be, and start cooking more with them at home. Gradually, meat starts disappearing out of your diet, until it's altogether gone.
Question: Are you a vegetarian? At what point did you become one?
The label and the behaviour might well have led to a lifestyle choice. You don't eat meat any more - it might not be for ethical or health reasons, but the effect is just the same. You can protest, but your friends are probably right aren't they, in assuming that the label, your new label, really is 'vegetarian'. And they'll be quick to bring you down if they see you scoffing a burger.
There are all sorts of labels. In our quest to understand each other, we've become exceptional at slapping them on, and expecting conformity with our ingrained expectations. 'Socialists' support the Palestinians and run the risk of being antisemitic - we don't exactly know why, but it's all there in the label. 'Republicans' adore the straight-talking shoot-from-the-hip-jingoism of their leader, and consider themselves the only true American patriots. 'Tories' are lying scumbags who only care about making big bucks for themselves and their Eton cronies. 'Environmentalists' are green hippies, 'Democrats' are pro-choice radical liberals, 'Emos' are depressed, 'Goths' listen to Satanic music, 'Christians' are meek, 'Germans' are efficient, and 'writers who call themselves wordsmiths' are precocious... apparently. You get the idea.
I'm sure you see how dangerous and how topical this labelling actually is. It's probably worth reminding ourselves that life is much more subtle and nuanced than the boxes we're being asked to fit into.
In fact, the only labels you were really given are the ones that tell the world about who you are as an individual, as a person - the ones that are quite unique to you. Why not find out what those things are?
I think it's good to change your mind about what you think, what you've been trained to think, from time-to-time. Believing that you can't do that will only reinforce your dogmatic allegiance to your boxes, and your behaviour will start to align to that label, and then the label will become your lifestyle choice.
So ask yourself questions, and start ditching some of those unnecessary labels. It's okay to like vegetarian dishes without being a vegetarian - and it's great not to eat meat, just like it's good to get some of that juicy protein from a steak sometimes - it's up to you what you eat, but you don't have to wear the label, especially if it didn't come from you.
Next, deliberately make friends with people who might be wearing a different label. That's the beauty of a modern society, actually - Democrats can be friends with Republicans just like stars fit next to stripes; Free-Market Conservatives can go for a drink with Marxists, and still disagree about everything, but with absolute kindness, respect and honour. It doesn't have to be so bitter and so tribal. It can be done. And when you see it, it's beautiful.
And if you spot ugly behaviour that tempts you to apply a label to someone that defines their lifestyle, maybe think twice. It might be that their current uninformed view, their lack of education, or even a hard-wired, invisible prejudice, have all overflowed into their momentary behaviour. Well, they have the power to change their minds too. It'll just take a little time, and a little kindness.
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