"Actually when did we start working from h..."
"16th of March wasn't it?" interrupted someone else on the team chat.
It seems this week, thoughts have gradually been turning to going back into the office. There's not much enthusiasm for celebrating; I can see why. For one thing, our department is half the size it was a year ago. That is going to hit home when we're back and surrounded by empty desks. For another, this is a complex psychological season, and I'm not entirely convinced that everyone's okay.
'Brutal' someone called it the other day. I've been thinking a lot about that word. We were knocked out a year ago, slammed to the deck with a sucker punch by a virus we didn't understand. In survival mode, we did our best to adapt, to get going, to get to our feet and figure out the new normal, but let's be honest: we were all still dazed and confused. And I think some of us still are.
There are bruises too - some evident and sore, and some on the inside. Brutal's a good word, overall. We're all going to need some time.
If I'm honest, the thought of turning up at the office does terrify me. Sitting at a desk with those keyboards rattling, and voices churning over the dividers - I find that whole thing quite a daunting thought now. I just don't think it would be the big happy reunion we all thought we wanted; I think it would be an awkward mess.
It's not that I don't miss that environment - sometimes I think I do; it's more that it would be, will be, a really tricky situation to adapt to. And at least at first, I can imagine it being absolutely awful.
"It's not for a few months, anyway," said the manager, "Though I'm sure it will go very quickly," he added with caution.
Maybe the most brutal thing about all of this isn't the punch, or the shock, or the feel of the deck as we hit the floor. Maybe the most brutal part is learning how to get up and walk again, when everything hurts.
The Five Dates
Back to School Day: 3 days
Back to Sixes Day: 24 days
Haircut Day: 38 days
Big Travel Day: 73 days
Liberation Day: 108 days
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