MAN RIDES BIKE

I just read a news article that is essentially, Prince Harry rides bicycle.

That is literally it. He’s been seen on his bike, riding it. That’s the news. That is the story. The rest is all context, which we know already, and we’re obviously supposed to speculate around like gossipy neighbours. Here’s how it plays out:

First time we’ve seen him since the big interview. Ooh what does it mean? What can we read into it?

He’s riding a bike.

The bike’s electric. How about that?

Yeah, how about that; he’s riding an electric bike near where he lives.

Look at him though, in his simple grey sneakers, hooded jacket and baseball cap. How about that for a Prince?

Hmm. Were you expecting full regalia and an ornamental sword?

What about his wife. Where’s she then? 

Maybe at home being what you call ‘troublesome’? Or maybe she’s simply not riding a bike. They have a two year old after all.

And all this after the rift with his brother, the stuff that came out, ooh remember that, remember all that, let’s remind you, don’t forget, we definitely want you to remember all that while he’s out on his bicycle.

Thanks, news. What’s next, ‘Man dies of natural causes’? ‘Woman in shoes spotted going to work’? ‘Local builder seen in Starbucks’?

I’m glad I’m not a famous person.