SECOND TO THE DANCE FLOOR

I joined late for “Coffee and a Quiz”. They were in the middle of a kahoot - an online quiz platform that’s just about perfect for people who work from home. We used to do them on Fridays with my old work.

Gosh. That is one thing I miss about my old work. Mr Pub Quiz might have been first-rate at talking about himself all the time, but he certainly kept the enjoyment of those things going. There was something admirable about it.

Today’s was silent as they rolled through the questions on-screen. It was utterly flat. What it needs is someone charismatic to make it fun, to push it through and be larger than life! What it doesn’t need is twelve people on mute clicking buttons.

I know what you’re thinking, and yes, given the chance I could have a go at being the extrovert. Be part of the solution! But that kind of thing is hard to pull off in a roomful of non-responsives. It’s a bit like being first to the dance floor, or setting the pace by making a fool of yourself on the karaoke machine. The gap between you being brave, and everyone else following you, is excruciatingly long.

During that gap, you’ve got to have nerves of steel, I reckon. Everything inside is urging you to stop, to safely sit down and blend back in, to protect yourself from the implied criticism of the room. You’re faced with that choice every second of the gap, and the longer it goes on the more painful it feels.

Or, you love it. You don’t care what anyone else thinks and so you won’t be bludgeoned by the atmosphere. You’re loud, inappropriate, eccentric, resilient and resistant. And you don’t give a hoot if you’re boogying while every other person clutches their drink in the shadows. You are doing it. You are Mr Pub Quiz. And sooner or later, you’ll have changed the atmosphere and everyone will be following you.

Given that there were quite a few sales execs on the call, I have to say that I found the atmosphere surprising at the Coffee and a Quiz. I reasoned that everyone there was so used to Teams meetings that a sort of muted sub-culture had kicked in. In fact (it occurred to me) in most other meetings, ‘banter’ is restricted to the first five minutes. Perhaps I’d missed it? Perhaps they were clicking buttons on mute, still fully in work-mode?

So, could I do it? Could I burn through that silence if I were running that quiz? I know that’s what that meeting needs. In fact it’s what they all want really - the whole purpose was to break out from the daily grind! Why not crack open a can of the old extrovertalade? Why not be a leader?

Uh oh. I’ve used the L word.

It’s okay. I think this really is leadership, in one of its most organic forms. After all, the lone dancer is a real pioneer, whether they’re crumbling on the inside or they just don’t care. Either way, people will probably get up and dance with you when they see it’s safe to do so.

But I don’t think it’s the only form of leadership. I reckon the person who goes second is just as much of a leader. They’ve made a conscious choice to catch a vision and join in. That person knows that they won’t be remembered later. And, crucially, they’ve opened a door for every other person in the room to feel safe on the adventure - including (the more I think about it) the first person.

I’m way more comfortable with that. I can do Mr Pub Quiz (though it is mostly me acting the part like you wouldn’t believe) but I can really be that second, brilliant, encouraging liberating person. In fact, I think I’d actually prefer it.

So (and I didn’t expect the ‘Coffee and a Quiz’ to lead me here at all) you don’t have to think that being a leader is all about being the first up, alpha-one, ideas lion. Sometimes it’s about recognising a good thing, and then giving everyone the all-clear to join in. That’s how to change the atmosphere!

I didn’t volunteer to run the next quiz. Actually it’s set up so that whoever comes 4th organises the next one. And I was late so I couldn’t join in. But at least next time I know what atmosphere I’m joining, and hopefully I know how to start changing it, even if it’s by looking for that number one.

I do miss Mr Pub Quiz though.