I HAD DONE THE BEST THING

It worked out alright with the duvet. In a stroke of astonishing luck, it turned out I'd actually done the right thing! (I'm kind of hoping I can repeat it).

I was so tired though that I must have fallen asleep in the small hours of the morning, still clutching slightly damp rolls of duvet cover. I had a vague recollection of Sammy bringing me hot water with honey, and maybe someone kissing me on the head and telling me gently that they were going to work, but by the time I woke up, the room was flooded with mid-morning sunlight.

I patted the duvet. Dry as a biscuit. Then I messaged her to tell her what had happened, and how miraculous it had been that she hadn't rolled over. That's when she told me that she thought I'd done the best thing I could have done, and that everything was alright. I was so relieved! I flopped back on to the pillow and closed my eyes for a while.

I think it's confidence-boosting to know you're capable of making decisions. One of the reasons for being indecisive is that we fear other people's reactions. That fear then slows down our ability to think through the problem. Worse, sometimes we abandon the decision-making, knowing that someone else will take over and make that decision for us. That's fatal indecisiveness because it causes a dependency-link on a person who probably doesn't deserve it and will come to resent it.

But every now and again, we're faced with problems we have to solve alone, and it's good to know we can still do it, albeit slowly and with a little trepidation. The more I think about it, the more I think that I've always been fairly good at that - given my own time and my own pace. I wasn't certain what to do, but I chose a pretty good course of action, I think, especially as it had been the middle of the night and my brain had clouded up.

I opened my eyes to the sunlit room. Everything seemed warmer and dryer than it had in a while. Although it seemed likely that my drink had gone cold by now. I reached a hand out from under the duvet to grab the cup of cold honey-water for a quick sip before getting up and facing the day, and then, almost immediately, chuckled and thought better of it.