THE ANCIENT ART OF SHUTTING UP

I had an interview yesterday in which I over-talked. At least, I’m pretty sure I over-talked.

“Seems unlikely, Matt,” said Gary (whom we’re staying with). I took his point; I’m not usually one to let my words run away with me. I often think of myself as much more measured, more thoughtful than that.

Nevertheless, the conversation had turned out to be one of those in which ideas were firing into my head like pulses of electricity. The guy asked me about my documentation process, and I went into a ramble about release cycles. Next up it was my opinion on technical schematics and I blurted on about Visio and Draw IO, and simplicity, and why different audiences might need different guides to help, and how people access content nowadays and how that’s changed.

It might all have been a good thing. After all, you want to be around stimulating people, especially if they fire your synapses and push you towards creative thinking.

I suppose my doubt was in accidentally revealing that I’ve not understood the question. Sometimes you can say too much.

Gary’s right though. I’m usually good at listening. Well. Mostly. Sammy might disagree, but I do think on the whole I’m practiced at the ancient art of shutting up. I just don’t know what got into me yesterday.

I expect I was thinking. That can be a barrier to true listening, can’t it? Gosh, if only people stopped thinking, the world would be a far better place! My brain might well have been taking on 70% of the interviewer and plotting how to answer him with the remaining 30%! Quite possible!

Actually, call it 25%. There was probably a little bit still wondering what I could eat. That 5% background thought is probably a constant hum.

When your brain is thinking and your face is listening, the effort is going into pretending your full attention is on the conversation. I guess there’s some science about how your eyes drift for different processes, but I suppose most of us are busy working out what to say while taking on board the other person.

Later, I tuned into Question Time, the panel show where members of the public ask questions of politicians and noted celebrities, and then clap, gasp or boo depending on where the debate goes. There was a lot of very fast-paced dialogue, a lot of layered discussion, and plenty of people listening with barely their face, let alone their ears. It was, as it often is, depressing.

It was a good reminder to get back to that ancient art. I tried imagining the words floating past my eyes as they were being spoken. I tried lasering in on what was being said, what was not being said, and why. It was hard work with Question Time. Perhaps it will be slightly easier on my next interview, should there be one.

I think there’s some wisdom though in just stopping talking and letting the pause be filled by someone else. But probably not always. Maybe, if I get the job I’ll be able to practice.

I’ll keep you posted.