THE HCB DEBATE

I feel like I have to write about this. I’m compelled by duty, and by tradition. And, by golly, a dash of common appreciation and sense. Also, I don’t mind telling you, I’m still in a reasonable amount of shock. Here it is, and I’m sorry if this causes you the need to sit down, or find a quiet shady spot to reflect for a while. I quite understand.

Sammy’s favourite half of a hot cross bun… is the bottom half.

I was flabbergasted. My discomb was bobulated, my socks offblown and my biscuit taken! I’d have thought it obvious that the top was better! Surely! There’s more of it, it’s crunchy and sweet and delicious, and it’s the bit that actually has the cross on it. Slaver that with butter and I’m in. The bottom half is basically a tea cake.

These days, Christmas doesn’t even have to be out of the way before the old HCBs arrive on the shelves. There they are, glistening in Sainsbury’s with a promise of toasty evenings by the fire, hot melted butter and fruit, and a steaming pot of tea on the go. I love an HCB. I just don’t know why anyone would pick a bottom over a top.

The way I see it, there are two solutions. One is of course that she tackles the bottom halves of the HCBs and leaves me with the lovely tops; the bit that actually matters as a hot cross bun.

The other idea is that we cut them in half down the middle, like a cake. Unorthodox, sure, like slicing open a banana and chomping it from the centre, but I don’t mind it. Butter at the ready, you get the juicy top and the fruity bottom all in one mouthful. Yum.

And then there’s what we’re actually likely to do and that is just toast and eat a top and a bottom each. Conventional. Even the two-slot toaster seems designed for the procedure.

What we won’t be doing though is deviating from the classic HCB variant. You can keep your apple and cinnamon hot cross buns, and even chocolate can’t improve on the traditional confection perfection of the original and best! Nope. Out of the packet, bread knife and butter knife ready, into the toaster, heaven fills the kitchen and you’re ready to feel cosy, warm, and beautifully loved on a dark wintry afternoon.

So long as you at least start with the top half.