THE YORKSHIRE MUG

“In other news, the Yorkshire mug’s really nice to drink out of!” called Sammy up the stairs.

She’s developed a knack at starting a conversation in one room and then carrying it on from another. I love her for it. I returned the volley:

“Good!” I shouted back.

There was no way to tell whether she was in the kitchen by now, or perhaps on the sofa, or in the garden. I drifted into a thought about what would happen if I stopped responding to things that weren’t actually questions, or worse, just pretended I couldn’t hear her until we were in the same room at the same time. It didn’t take me long to realise that it’s not one of my best ideas.

For one thing, some questions are rhetorical and some are not, and the difference is hard to work out. Then, some statements like ‘The Yorkshire mug’s really nice to drink out of’ sound like they need some response. They’re questions in disguise. And some statements are closed. They need no more lines added by me, whether in the room or calling from upstairs. In a world where questions can be rhetorical, or not, and statements are often but not always questions, and we’re talking in different parts of the house, the strategy of non-responsiveness would lead to me communicating something that is not true. Marriage is complicated sometimes.

Anyway, I’m immensely relieved that the Yorkshire mug is nice to drink out of, because it cost £13.75 (it’s a pint mug, but still) and I think it needs to pull its weight. I didn’t say any of that. I hoped it was conveyed in the tone of my “Good!” but also I had had to bawl it from upstairs, so hey, I might never know.