LEADERSHIP FOR DUMMIES

I finished Silent Night. There were two juicy chords I just couldn't resist but the rest is all quite straightforward. Plus I wrote a little eight bar introduction... which sounds great.

Well another thrilling afternoon. While I was waiting for the latest version of my install guide to print out, I had a little wander over to the lending library.
 

The lending library is a bookcase, stocked with everything from Improving Your Golf Swing to Maximum Security: A Hacker's Guide to Protecting Your Internet Site and Network. I slid out a pristine copy of Leadership for Dummies.
 

I might give it a go. I flicked through to Chapter 1 and spotted a little test to prove that we all have the potential to be good leaders. I think the idea is that you recognise these 'leadership' situations:
 

• I was really enthusiastic about something and someone caught or was infected by my enthusiasm.
• I stood up for something or someone I believed in when it or the person was being wrongly criticised.
• I did something that I knew was right to do when I doubted my ability to do it.
• I helped someone to understand the difference between right and wrong.
• I influenced someone to raise [their] standards.
• I challenged someone who was behaving in an unacceptable way to change [their] behaviour.

Hmmm.

This morning I grabbed a mug from the cupboard and walked round to the Nestle 3000, ready to fill it with 'Chocolate'. One of the students got there just before I did but very kindly let me go first.

"After you, Matt," he said, "I'll be here ages 'cos I have to have three shots of espresso."

"Thanks," I said, swinging my mug into place and pushing the button. The machine flashed into life, whirred into an ultraviolet glow and started pumping hot chocolate into my mug.

"Wait, three espressos?" I said. He looked at me bleary-eyed.

"Y'hm."

"You know what'll happen? Eventually your body will reset its base-level at three espressos and you'll need more caffeine just to feel as awake as you do now. You should go cold-turkey I reckon."

He looked at me a little shocked. To be honest, I was a little shocked myself. I'm not normally quite so direct.

"You're making me feel really bad now!" he said. Then I felt bad. Who am I to criticise someone else's coffee-drinking habits? Just because three espressos would be enough to send me to the moon, it doesn't mean I have the right to criticise someone else's preference, does it?

He went on to explain how he likes his coffee dark, rich, strong and how the stuff that spurts out of the Nestle 3000 doesn't really count as proper coffee anyway. I smiled weakly.

"Alright," he said, "I'll go for two shots today. Maybe I'll ease off slowly."

I apologised again and we headed back out into the office.

You know what? Technically I've influenced somebody to raise their standards, challenged their behaviour and possibly helped them see the difference between good and better. I'm doing OK according to Leadership for Dummies.

Why do I feel bad about it then? Is that the thing with proper leadership? Feeling bad and being rude to students?

I might just slip it back into the bookcase.